i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
