ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
