so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
