Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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