This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize