I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
