Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
