What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
