If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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