That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was like eating out sand paper
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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