dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize