You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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