discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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