Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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