And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
