Barsexuality is the new black.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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