Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
