Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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