I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
