Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
