i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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