Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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