The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
