did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
