I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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