i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
