have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
