were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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