She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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