His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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