His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
two words...techno handjob
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
