Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Less talking, more tequila
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
