We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
