Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
