I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
