I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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