She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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