She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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