Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
