Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
