Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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