How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize