Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
