did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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