Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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