Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
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this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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