There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
