it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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