singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
