come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize