there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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