spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
