she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
