So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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