she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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