I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
