I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm like, not good at living.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
