So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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