I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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