...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
