my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
