If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
