I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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