therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Your shirt... Was in my pants
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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