I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
