You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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