Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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