Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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